


Stand Back Everyone, Nothin' Here to See

by quiverby



Category: Warehouse 13
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-06
Updated: 2013-09-06
Packaged: 2017-12-25 19:34:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/956839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quiverby/pseuds/quiverby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life is absolutely never normal in Univille, South Dakota.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stand Back Everyone, Nothin' Here to See

**Author's Note:**

> There is no excuse for this. It's just silly. 
> 
> Songs referenced: It's Raining Men, Skullcrusher Mountain, Pirates Who Don't Do Anything, I'm Blue (Da Ba Dee) and Man's Gotta Do.
> 
> And dedicated to Ashie, who is a terrible enabler.

“It’s raining men.” Joshua looked out of the window of the B&B while a very confused look crossed his face. 

“Hallelujah? Hey, Jinksy!” Claudia shouted upstairs, laughing. “It’s raining men, maybe you’ll finally get a date!”Claud paused. “Wait, Joshua? You were serious?” 

“Yes, Claud. Look.” He pointed out the window of the solarium to show tiny plastic men falling from the sky and running around the lawn. 

“Uh. Ok, it’s actually raining men. What the hell Artifact is doing that?” Claudia got up from her position on the sofa to join her brother. Opening the French door, she went out and picked up one of the plastic figures. As soon as she touched it, it crumbled and disappeared. “They’re not very substantial, so whatever is doing this is…” 

Steve came outside, cutting off Claudia’s thought process. “What do you mean… oh come on, Claudia. You know I don’t do plastic.” Steve stared across the lawn. “Wait, is that a half-pony, half-monkey monster?” 

“Never thought I’d say this, but I think he’s eating the men.” Joshua stared at the thing for a moment, running a hand through his hair and brushing off a few plastic men who turned to dust in his hand.

Before he could say anything else, Claudia shrieked and leaned down. “A cucumber in a pirate hat? Really?” 

“Does it do anything?” Claudia shrugged and Steve wrinkled his nose for a moment. “Wait. This is starting to sound familiar. Raining men, half-pony, half-monkey monster, pirates who don’t do anything… Joshua, are you playing music anywhere, because this is starting to sound familiar.”

“I might’ve left my computer on when I went to get a drink, why?” Joshua turned to Steve, realizing quickly what was going on. “Shit, this does sound like my music. We should probably figure out what’s personifying my music before it gets to Gay Bar or something worse.” 

Claudia chimed in, a bit of a horrified look on her face. “Worse like, oh, you turning blue, brother dear?” 

Joshua looked down, and true enough, his skin and clothes were turning a rather lovely shade of blue. “Well, uh, at least the blue Corvette is true.” 

Steve chimed in. “Ok, so something is turning Joshua’s playlist real. What’ve you gotten recently, Joshua? What have any of us gotten recently?”

While Joshua and Steve talked about Joshua's buying habits, Claudia ran back into the B&B, returning with a pair of old-ish headphones. “Joshua Alan Donovan, how many times have I told you not to buy used?” 

“I broke mine, and all that was open was the second-hand store in town, Claud!” He ran a hand through his (now completely blue) hair. “I didn’t have time to go to Featherhead, and these actually looked pretty good!”

Steve rolled his eyes as Claudia pulled a static bag out of her pocket. “How many of those do you have, anyway?” 

The bag flashed, Joshua’s colour turned back to normal, and everything in the yard disappeared. “Sometimes not enough, Jinksy.” Claud tossed the bag at Steve and grabbed her brother’s arm. “Come on, brother dear. It’s time to stop being lazy and go to Featherhead. I’m even going to come with you.” 

The Donovans left the room to the soundtrack of Steve laughing and Joshua’s laptop quietly singing: _Don’t plan the plan if you can’t follow through… ___


End file.
